The Counseling thing....

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Counseling Blah Blah and FAQ

Counseling Blah Blah and FAQ
FAQ
How can I tell if he/she loves me?
Let it be known that love is not a game. The moment you utter the words, “I love you”, you have made a decision. Love is not simply an emotion; it is more of a decision, an act of will. You shouldn’t say those words if you only meant the moment you feel good being together with the particular person.
Why can’t I make my relationship last? (similar to…why can’t I stop looking at other men/women? Why do I want extra-marital affairs even though I love my partner?)
Because you fail to realize the sole reason why you even chose to decide to love the person. Most people find it difficult to understand that relationships are not simply emotions, but WORK. We are all aware when we hear that commitment and relationship is work but we don’t actually specify how it meant in our lives. If it is something we should work out, we are all not aware that when we start building relationships, we build a pattern of communication and behavior. When linguists say, effective communication will solve all hatred in this world, we agree at a certain level but we fail to see it in our own relationships because we are not aware of our own manner of communication. Proper choice of words and expressions actually lead all relationships to last in most cases. For more info…please read the book of Don Miguel Ruiz entitled “The Four Agreements”.
Why do I get bored in sex and I yearn for sex to others even if I’m committed?(related to number 2)
Most sex therapist would say more but I believe that sex is consummation of love. That sex for couples should be taken seriously in terms of explicit teaching each other how to attain satisfaction. Again, let us all be reminded that satisfaction will only be guaranteed if you know how to effectively convey your desires to the other person by primarily telling your concern and love for the partner to be satisfied BEFORE you ask for a task your partner should do for u to be satisfied. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be called intercourse if the partner is not communicating…MOST PEOPLE TALK BUT THEY DON’T COMMUNICATE. This we should all reflect to gain enlightenment.